“Winning” just sounds good, doesn’t it? It’s like something that we are all wired to want or we are told that we should want it at all costs. It feels nice and somehow it elevates us. Typically, we only think we win if we beat someone else at something or beat a specific marker of success. So, in essence, we are always trying to one up ourselves and others so that we can come out victorious and therefore feel happy, empowered or superior.
If that’s how you define winning, then you’ll often come up short. You may get discouraged and down on yourself. If you’re regularly feeling like you just can’t win or you haven’t felt super successful recently then you may need to change your perspective on winning and losing. What if you redefined what you thought winning was and therefore you could win more often? Stay with me.
How to Win Every Time
After an event, conversation, workout or at the end of your day, you can ask yourself these three questions:
- Did I learn? If so, that’s a win.
- Did I make a positive impact? If so, that’s a win.
- Did I feel better? If so, that’s a win.
If I’ve done any of these three things, I consider it a win for myself and I move on with contentedness. Try it out.
This way of thinking will help you feel like you’re regularly improving and setting yourself up for success no matter what the situation is. When you start to redefine winning in this way you might find that you’re able to dominate your competition and your goals because you’re more confident and focused.
Of course we will fall short, make mistakes and have letdowns and you can’t go on pretending that you’re winning all of the time. Disappointments are just as important as wins. Many people think of disappointments, losses or failures as negative events and that can be very damaging to self-confidence. But when you view these experiences as valuable, helpful and necessary to your growth…then they don’t seem so damaging after all.
“I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When I have eliminated all the ways that will not work, I will find that way that will work.” — Thomas Edison
You can make every experience work for you in a positive way. After a loss, mistake or setback, think about reframing that event as a stepping stone to get you to where you want to go. You need that experience to make you better. Improve your perspective on winning and failure and you’ll find that you’re in a better mind frame more often.